CHOCOLATE TERRORISM CHEESE

Bloody Americans! Not content with lowering the life expectancy of all British troops on joint military manoeuvres with them, they’re now looking to rape Britain of Cadbury, our biggest confectionary manufacturer, changing it’s name to Hershy and bunging a fucking sponge, peanuts and jelly in everything.

I’m the first to stick my hand up and admit to liking Dairylea but I find the yanks’ sweets to be as shit as their ability to fight wars, run banks or manufacture anything that’s half decent and doesn’t ruin the planet.

Like Britain, America is a mongrel nation having taken in people from all over the world into a democratic, lazy country. Unlike Britain, America follows India’s cast system when it comes to the corridors of power and economic fairness. Black people are second class citizens, Latinos wallow below them and the white supremacist American majority would rather neither group got free healthcare.

Barack is the first and probably the last black president of the United States. I hope he will be the saviour of a damaged country before the Islamic fundamentalists and far right racist groups have generated enough hatred and mistrust in the people to spark the inevitable race wars due to hit Western Europe and the States next year.

Blowing up civil aircraft full of innocent people, hunting down ‘Muslims’, killing ‘Muslims’ in Afghanistan, arresting, charging and locking up ‘Muslims’ everywhere, turning down planning applications for Mosques, allowing ‘Muslims’ to wear ‘faith’ jewellery in school but banning the wearing of a cross, the rise of the BNP, the rise of ‘faith’ schools, bombing tourist resorts and ambushing foreign sports teams are now part of everyday life which would be a whole lot sadder for about sixty one million of us (Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Humanist, Jew and Muslim alike) if Cadbury’s became Kraft.

I ask you, regardless of your fundamentalist, fanatical, homicidal or racist leaning – please don’t buy any Dairylea Triangles for the next six months – Kraft needs your money.