CONS FOR CONTRACTS

Following the recent success of British companies in Libya, the British government is reviewing all foreign prisoners in captivity to see whether there are any more from countries with large mineral deposits, oil fields, gas pockets and armed forces in need of some new hardware.

Only last week, eight Saudi Arabian terrorists were freed by Britain in return for a new ‘Next’ clothing retail outlet in the seven star Al Yaddosh Shopping Mall in Riyadh.

Rumours of an amnesty for all Sudanese prisoners are currently doing the rounds in Parliament after early negotiations broke down to supply the Sudan with rubber bands made in Yorkshire.

Gordon Brown has asked all Labour MPs to visit their local clink immediately in order to see whether there are any Afghanis residing therein, especially ones who know how to speak whatever language they speak over there.