OLD AGE – THREAT TO LIFE

With modern science preserving old people into years far beyond the dreams of their own progenitors, many more of them are exceeding their ‘best before’ date posing a larger potential threat to the lives of British people than swine flu, Islamic Fundamentalist terrorism and burger vans.

If you’re leaving a major roundabout and your exit’s suddenly blocked by a Rover 400 completing a full lap of the roundabout on the outside on the basis that the right exit will come up eventually – old person.

If you leave a motorway and cruise down the filter lane to bear left and find a car stopped giving way to another car that’s got its own exit lane – old person.

Admittedly, old people have less accidents but that’s only because they’re all happening just behind them leaving the culprit to potter off to the garden centre for a ball of twine.

Test every two years after 65 – one day I’ll be there and I’ll see the point.