BOMB AT M4 JUNCTION

Reading's home grown terrorist cell has reportedly removed a 15lb weedkiller bomb from the base of King's Point after a friend pointed out to them that it was more devastating to the town and the people of Reading to continually have to look at the piece of 60's crap.

The Reading terrorist cell instead has alledgedly relocated the device to junction 11 of the M4 motorway in an attempt to bring about road confusion and delays.

A spokesperson for Peter Brett Associates commented that if rumours were true and the device detonated, it could mean traffic light failures, cones scattered all over the place, bridges remaining half built, piles of earth strewn everywhere and possibly better flowing lanes into Reading town centre.

DEATHS LIKELY DUE TO BOLLARD SHORTAGE

The UNDRB (United Nations Directorate for Road Bollards) has issued an emergency request to Peter Brett Associates to realease some of the seventeen million bollards currently scattered around junction 11 of the M4 in Reading.

Canada, Japan, Burkina Faso and Brazil have all totally run out of their bollard stocks and Poland only has one bollard on a piece of string left which is causing a traffic jam of tipper trucks, dumper trucks and cement lorries unable to enter road works.

Lang O Rourke and PBA have sent a joint mission to China to see if they can speed up production of the four hundred million on order from Reading Borough Council due to be laid on the Basingstoke Road next month.