BRITAIN’S SILLY SUBMARINES

Trident is not a deterrent to anyone; the Taliban don’t do a great deal of underwater swimming in the Pacific as far as I’m aware so one of them banging their shins on the aged beasts is unlikely and we’re certainly never going to let off a missile as a first strike against them, the Iranians or anybody else.

This means that our mini fleet of knackered submersible relics is a retaliation platform and nothing else.

If the day comes when Britain has been hit by someone else’s nuclear missile fired in anger against us, having sixteen old warheads somewhere in the ocean available to bung back and destroy their country is little comfort as already explored under the ‘MAD’ principle and if we don’t fire one back then the good old Americans will surely obliterate the aggressor on our behalf unless of course they’ve got any oil in which case we can whistle (if we have any lips left).

We all know that British politicians are only in it for the good of their own wallets yet, sad as it may be; only by political negotiations would we be able to stop the bastards firing more nukes at us. Bearing in mind that the majority of us would already be dropping flesh all over the place from radiation sickness, would we care?

Do not renew Trident, instead spend the 25 billion on wind turbines, solar power and micro breweries – you know it makes sense. Having Trident is a bit like keeping a vinyl record collection just in case one day it might be worth something.