PUTIN
Vladimir Putin allegedly shit himself yesterday on receiving the news that the European Union has called a meeting about him thus cancelling four high level ministerial meetings discussing top level concerns across Europe including how curved a banana can be, whether condoms can be measured in inches, the optimum size of a sausage and the colour of the new bar in Brussels.
Already distraught over Europe’s sanctions which include restricting Russian diplomats to one bag in business class on international flights and the banning of all Russian delegates from the Hay on Wye book festival, Putin reacted by cutting the power to seventy nine car plants in Germany, France, Italy and Spain.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
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