Vladimir Putin allegedly shit himself yesterday on receiving the news that the European Union has called a meeting about him thus cancelling four high level ministerial meetings discussing top level concerns across Europe including how curved a banana can be, whether condoms can be measured in inches, the optimum size of a sausage and the colour of the new bar in Brussels.
Already distraught over Europe’s sanctions which include restricting Russian diplomats to one bag in business class on international flights and the banning of all Russian delegates from the Hay on Wye book festival, Putin reacted by cutting the power to seventy nine car plants in Germany, France, Italy and Spain.
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