MORRISONS SUPERMARKETS
Morrisons Supermarkets have been celebrating the launch of
their new font size instructions on their microwave meals this week. Proud of
their new ‘0.02’ font size, Morrisons are now able to get the entire Bible on
the back of one Chinese Chicken Curry.
Although Morrisons have been criticized that the
cooking time can only be read through an Olympus laser confocal microscope, the
company has answered this by adding the complete Olympus range of optical
magnification devices to their Homeware Essentials Department.
Get with it Morrisons – there are parts of the Milky Way
that are easier to see than your instructions.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
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