IPCC
Scientists working for the IPCC have categorically stated that their next report on global warming will certainly predict that humans are more likely to be potentially causing climate change. In fact, they have guaranteed that they will be 137.4% certain that they will be more certain than the last report released today in which they are 95% certain which was 11% more certain than the one before that which was 15% more certain than the one before that one.
The head fortune telling oracle of the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change stated that using the IPCC specialist I Ching based computer program has guaranteed that the next report will be so certain that it will use the paper from more trees than the last one which was only 3000 pages long.
The report produced today leaves absolutely no doubt that Europe is not getting warmer which is proof that it's getting warmer and man is to blame. The IPCC also believes that some women may also be blameworthy by leaving thier curling tongs on for longer than required.
What a load of bollocks. Hopefully the 840 corduroy elbowed boffins can do something valuable with their time now like making some nice sandals for the warmer evenings.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
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