DOG'S OFF
The wacky Korean crisis comedy worsened tenfold this morning following revelations that the real big cheese behind the nuclear tit (button) in the nutty country – Kim Jong-un’s aunty Kim Kyong-hu; the child of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-suk and mother to Jang Kum-song and Jang Kim-song has gone ballistic after some crafty bastard sold her burger bar three tonnes of horsemeat.
What really pissed her off was the fact that the smelly crap had already been rejected by the supplier to the supplier to the abattoir that supplies the supplier to the supplier to the suppliers of people who know the buyers at ASDA.
“If it no far good fw’ASDA, he can shuv up far cars” she said – allegedly but in perfect beautifully flowing romantic Korean without the stereotyped accent.
Operating a busy back (ward) street burger joint is damn hard work and when you add in having to manage a Maplins built nuclear bomb equipped Inter Continental Ballistic Missile and then some shit sells your restaurant manager Trigger patties unfit for ASDA it’s no wonder that the rocket is going to fly – luckily for us it’s headed toward Holland but is anticipated to land approximately thirty feet from the launch vehicle.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
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