The BBC stated yesterday that everyone in Britain is going to lose their job which is really really shit; all industry is closing down due to the fact that everything we make is exported to Italy which means really shitty prospects for Britain and loads more redundancies prior to Christmas making this the worst and shittiest shit shit year ever since records began in 1536 when things were really shit – ask any monk.
No-one in the UK is going to survive this with their health and every company in Britain is reporting shitty shit shit results prior to closing down and making everyone redundant to live in squalor prior to death from malnutrition and cold even though we’re not signed up to the Euro which could be scrapped but it’s better news to pretend that it’s worse than it could be.
News that a company in the New Forest had just taken on twenty four apprentices was greeted as laughable by senior (w) anchor man Robert Peston who denied categorically that there was anything good to report and therefore the news was clearly a government trick to pretend that there was no reason to kill yourself which you may as well do because it’s all shitty shit shit.
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