BRITAIN BANS JESUS
Britain has banned Jesus from entry into the UK in the event of his return to Earth, and on the assumption that he’d want to come here.
Under Jackie Schmidt’s new ‘Least Wanted’ league table, Jesus has been lumped in with Islamic terrorists, Combat 18 members and the Tamil Tigers for his fanatical views on religion and the banking fraternity.
The Vatican has instructed it’s lawyers to stop stalking Dan Brown and instead to sue the British Government for deformation of character.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
Britain has banned Jesus from entry into the UK in the event of his return to Earth, and on the assumption that he’d want to come here.
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