Tesco plc’s logical next step is to go into house building under the guise of its newest division ELH Developments. Rodney White of ELH commented “…………after all, people fill their homes with our high quality product range, we insure the building and they talk on our mobile phone airtime, so why not rent the property from us too, every little helps……..”.Tesco is already under pressure to sell a portion of the massive land bank it’s sitting on following charges of anti competitiveness by the Monopolies and Mergers Committee chaired last month by Lord Her rod of Caithness.
Cowyn Bay as the development is to be named, will be a two hundred home development with an Academy of Education, petrol stations, supermarkets, corner stores, a farm, a food factory, a packing plant, a dairy, an insurance company, a mobile phone company and a casino.
Upon completion in 2012, all properties will be for rental only for periods of between twelve and one hundred and eighty months, to married couples where one of the couple will work for Tesco plc within Cowyn Bay.
Likening the town to Bourneville, Rodney White answered allegations of being puritanical with the news that there would be an area for gay housing set aside with the inhabitants being exclusively employed on the farm although not anywhere where they could touch any food. Divorcees applying to buy will be redirected to another development in Croydon.
Peter Tattishawl spent the day wearing concrete boots outside of Tesco’s Head Office in Cheshunt admitting to the journalist present that he’d not realised that the second was a Sunday.
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2 comments:
Tesco are a really fine company that see your ridicule as a sign of respect and acknowledgement.
im going to live there, work there and watever
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