What happened to Martin Salter? According to my mum he’s gone to America.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not missing the saviour of the Tilehurst allotments but at least we had a recognisable Labour dork to abuse when he was around; now they’re a faceless bunch of no-hopers apart from Dick McKenzie who's not really worthy of comment.
The definition of a sport in my opinion is something that a computer/robot couldn’t do better than a human being.
This, I have found ‘works’ for all contact sports and high agility pastimes such as cricket, football, rugby, tennis, badminton, boxing, swimming and judo to name but a few. It also laughs in the face of:
Shooting (the act of understanding trajectory and staying still for a minute – easy)
Darts (the act of judging weight against distance whilst fat)
Fishing (the act of doing fuck all – benefit claimants favourite)
Parachuting (the act of falling to Earth like a stone)
Sailing (the act of programming a set of coordinates into a computer)
A professional football player is far more than a sportsman. He (referring to the Premiership & International mainstream) is a part of a sport, playing for a team, representing a country, city, town, dream etc causing mass joy or melancholia as the final whistle blows.
If a Liverpool player, earning far more than the average ‘worker’ in Liverpool scored goal after goal, week after week no-one in Liverpool would begrudge him his earnings as long as he didn’t buy a copy of the Sun.
Sport affects those taking part and those who support teams/participants like no computer/robot generated entertainment could ever do – it’s a different emotion. The computer games fraternity will produce nothing other than serial killers and mass murderers apparently.
What I’m really trying to say is that I can’t stand hearing fishermen referring to what they do as a sport – it’s waiting – sitting or standing like a sad lonely individual, possibly having a few roll-ups and a can of Special Brew or drinking from a flask and waiting – no more.
Pictures of ‘fishermen’ standing like a jungle warrior holding the ten pound stickleback that he’d done nothing more than ‘wait’ for six hours for make me laugh – Martin Salter and fishing seem somewhat appropriate to me.
IN MEMORY OF
Paddy Higgins
GID'S NIB
A couple of wrinklies have won £25 Million on the Euro Lottery saying that it's not going to change their lives.
Silly bastards, make them give it back.
2080
Rainy winters snug by the fire, sunny hot summers like Spain growing olives, grapes, lemons and limes; this is climate change - don't listen to them - they're talking bollocks.
HARMAN BACKS BROWN
Harman tells reporters: Like every sturdy knocker, this Country needs a knob and Gordon's the best man for the job.
WELL DONE PIERRE
A big thank you to Pierre, Jean Paul, Luc and Marco, the four Froggie fishermen for starving Britain of goods over the last few days - that's not 'French' at all is it?
HELLO
Please follow one of the many links scattered around to the Orangutan charities.
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