FREE TENNIS BALLS TO BOMB MAKERS

The British Government has announced plans to give religious fundamentalist groups and far right groups free tennis balls and nitroglycerine blasting oil after admitting that it’s too hard to track down all the potential terrorists in the country in order to stop them planting devices.

By giving the patients the best laboratory quality nitro’ and Dunlop Fort All Court Tennis Balls it is hoped that the potential suicide bombers will no longer have to resort to committing crime in order to get sub standard equipment/chemicals needed to make their improvised devices.

All nitro' will be made available on prescription from special treatment clinics located around the outskirts of towns and cities at the end of cobbled tracks away from the general public.

Plans to give each patient a pedal bike with solid wooden wheels to transport their explosives back to their bedroom factories located often within their parent’s houses were considered to be cynical and against their basic Human Rights and Health & Safety regulations after COSHH and Risk Assessments were carried out.

Here too the Government has stepped in and promised to supply benefit aided Honda Civics to all patients participating in the scheme for at least six months. Suggestions to put trackers in the cars were also ruled as being against the patients’ basic Human Rights.