GOLLIWOGGATE

Jeremy Paxman has hit back at the BBC over his sacking following his alleged racist comments whilst buying chocolates from an assistant in Thorntons who had hair resembling that of “a doll, with a face lacking lightness, wild bushy hair and short arms, considered acceptable in the twentieth century but has since been identified as racial insult due to character exaggeration” (BBC Document: A Guide to the Correct Use of Archaic Terms – Revision XVII).

Paxman also denied calling Gordon Brown ‘a one eyed Scottish idiot’, claiming that comment came from gobshite overpaid car driver Jeremy Clarkson.

Barack Obama and the Pope, in a joint statement agreed that the BBC had over-reacted; the pope in particular agreed with Paco saying that he hated the high ‘in cocoa’ shit and was a milky bar pontiff.