CRAPPY TOXIC BANK UK

Britain’s fastest growing club, the Job Centre with 1.8 million members and still expanding, has announced that all of it’s clients will be given work in the new CTB (crappy toxic bank) being created by G.B. to absorb all of the nasty losses and debt created by crappy toxic banks, the only difference being that we, the public have kindly been given ownership of it; well I say given, we’ve had to make a token gesture of sixty odd billion for it but hey – it’s ours!

Us thicky Brits were told this week that G.B. is in recession which is a complicated calculation based upon the theory:

Things are really shit for six months x people who actually deserve them are claiming benefits x more houses are being repossessed x all the banks have collapsed x car manufacturers are shutting down x no-one’s buying organic food anymore x Baked Beans sales sore through the roof x The Pound Shop is GBs fastest growing retailer x the government has no idea = recession.

Unlike previous governments all over the world in times of recession the plops running Britain still haven’t announced any significant civil building projects such as a bridge to Eire, the Dover to Calais Cable Car or a wall around Wales (might have been done? – check wikipedia).

We need projects that will make future generations marvel at how we pulled ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and only went and built the greatest architectural and structural masterpiece in our history – projects that will replace the benefit cheque with an honourable, respectable, well deserved and personally rewarding and justified pay cheque – tax paid as opposed to tax drawn.

The inauguration in the states this week threw up the amazing line ‘Rosa sat so King could walk so Barack could run’ – brilliant and we need to adopt a bit of this confidence, get ready to hang onto the coat tails of the states and enjoy the ride.