SCOTS TO STOP DRINKING

Gordon Brown stuff is said to be keeping one eye on the Scottish parliament’s review of alcohol pricing. The idea being studied by our Scots cousins is to introduce further taxes in the guise of ‘protecting young people’ from abusing the booze by creating a minimum price per unit of alcohol.

Even though both the Scottish and English governments know it doesn’t have any effect on volumes purchased, the extra tax generated from drinkers is now needed more than ever to give to bankers as bonuses for their sterling work over 2008.

This news of further taxes comes as no surprise to Britain’s struggling pub chains who Gordon Brown stuff has committed himself to destroying before the end of his spectacularly bad tenure in office as part of his ‘Back to Cromwell’ campaign.

Gordon Brown stuff is said to be walking around Whitehall with a distinct cocky swagger after receiving seventeen standing ovations from the US Congress even though it has been pointed out to him that a British dog’s jobbie would have got sixteen.