SMELLY ALLEY

FINCHAMPSTEAD

2012-01-26T15:21:00.000Z

Dozy selfish nimby arse residents in Finchampstead have launched a campaign to stop a farmer using farm land at Manor Farm (note the word ‘farm’ in there) in his plans to wreck the countryside by planting and growing things – namely fruit.

Grow fruit? What was he thinking of – on a farm, using polytunnels – he must be mad?

Head nimby arse Sandra Bedford is enraged that a farmer wants to use polytunnels on a farm to grow things saying that this may be acceptable in the city but it’s completely out of place in the countryside.

The protester group is allegedly planning another campaign to stop the adjacent farmer producing small white fluffy things in the Spring that jump about making an annoying baa sound and ruin the views of local dog walkers.

NEOPOLITHIC

2012-01-24T13:25:00.000Z

A nesting site for dinosaur eggs found in South Africa is 100 million years older than the previous oldest site, the House of Lords in Westminster.

NOUS NE SOMMES PAS NATO

2012-01-23T13:26:00.001Z

It would appear that NATO is dividing into two separate organisations in the defence of planet Earth – they being the countries willing to supply peace keeping combat forces like Britain, Australia and Poland, and the countries only willing to supply operatives trained in the clandestine arts of futon making, giving out cakes and teaching the Taliban how to prepare a cheese soufflé like France.

A two tier NATO isn’t really much good to anyone apart from Al Qaeda as the Americans will only get even more tired of being the world’s testers of improvised explosive devices whilst the CESM make onion soup in the compound across the way.

Then again, maybe the French are right and we should all take a more en pantoufles approach?

TOO LATE FOR RENEWABLES

2012-01-21T13:23:00.000Z

What hope has Britain got in switching energy production to renewables when one man and his Conservative dog can scupper a planning application to erect a wind turbine because it would spoil his view; too much wind energy overloads the National Grid anyway and the Government pulls the rug from under PV installers feet because the pay back was attracting too much interest?

Although Wokingham Borough Council refused planning on the Rushey Mead turbines on purely ‘political’ grounds and still pretends it’s a green authority, in truth, the Green Park turbine is so unproductive it attracts £30,000 more in subsidies per annum than it earns from electricity generation (there’s a clue in the names Thames ‘Valley’).

In 2011 almost £10 million was paid to turbine operators to not produce electricity – doesn’t that say everything you need to know about Britain’s joined up thinking on renewable energy? i.e. it isn’t.

To say I’ve changed my mind on wind power would be an understatement. Forget wind, forget solar and forget wave – nuclear power yes please – we’ve run out of time!

WBC - HOLIER THAN THOU

2012-01-18T12:46:00.002Z

By now the first of my flyers detailing Wokingham Borough Council's misguided, stupid mini waste sack plans should be hitting the letter boxes of councillors in Woodley, Winnersh and Wokingham; MPs at the Houses of Parliament and various media organisations.

Thank you for the feedback both verbally and via email - yes it really is true - WBC is going to carry on with this idiotic waste of money scheme until such time that we can bring them back to Earth with a bump.

GO SCOTLAND

2012-01-12T13:03:00.000Z

Why are we waiting for the Scottish people to vote on devolution?

The English should vote this year, next month even to leave the UK and let Scotland go it alone with their banks (that Alex Salmond was so proud of before they ruined the western world), their appalling diet, their man skirts, their offal stuffed guts and their spiky ginger hair wigs.

What have the Scottish given us since 1707 apart from the deep fried Mars bar, Sean Connery and some frankly rather poor quality oil and we’ve had the benefit of that lot already?

Vote YES to devolution with Scotland today.

WBC RECOMMENDS USING CORROSIVE ON ANIMALS

2012-01-11T13:09:00.000Z

SODIUM HYPOCHLORITE (BLEACH)

Very hazardous in case of skin contact (irritant), of eye contact (irritant).
Hazardous in case of skin contact (corrosive), of eye contact (corrosive).
Slightly hazardous in case of inhalation (lung sensitizer).
Liquid or spray mist may produce tissue damage particularly on mucous membranes of eyes, mouth and respiratory tract.
Skin contact may produce burns. Inhalation of the spray mist may produce severe irritation of respiratory tract, characterized by coughing, choking, or shortness of breath.
Prolonged exposure may result in skin burns and ulcerations.
Over-exposure by inhalation may cause respiratory irritation. Inflammation of the eye is characterized by redness, watering, and itching.
Skin inflammation is characterized by itching, scaling, reddening, or, occasionally, blistering.

As you can see, sodium hypochlorite or ‘bleach’ can be extremely hazardous to health. So what should you do if you have some bleach in Wokingham?

What can I put my rubbish in and how can I prevent animals ripping the bags?

• Refuse sacks. A diluted solution of bleach sprayed over the bag can act as a deterrent to stop animals ripping open the bags

Taken from Wokingham Borough Council’s website.

http://www.wokingham.gov.uk/rubbish/domesticbins/

WBC SET TO LITTER

2012-01-11T10:37:00.000Z

According to BBC Berkshire news, fly-tipping is costing Wokingham Borough Council £50,000 a year in clean up costs (quote: Pete Baveystoke).

I guarantee you that this figure will escalate beyond comprehension following the introduction of their illegal skinny (18 micron) waste packets (sacks) in April this year due to vermin/predator damage of said sacks.

WBC will attempt to charge the householder (you) with any clean up in the name of littering even though they know in advance that this will happen and that they (WBC) are to blame.

RACIST BRITAIN

2012-01-11T09:29:00.001Z

The fact that an intelligent, well read person such as Diane Abbott can be lambasted over a throw away factually/historically correct comment on Twitter pertaining to white folk liking to divide and conquer is surely an indication that Britain is slipping back into the clutches of the racists.

As soon as you start to hear the inevitable “they wouldn’t like it if I said that sort of thing about a black person’ (operative word being ‘they’) you can smell the hidden racism bubbling up.

I assume this is a reaction to recent immigrants supposedly ‘taking work’ from British people who either couldn’t or wouldn’t do it anyway because they’re either too lazy or too stupid and have come to expect something for nothing or at least something as good as the next person with the minimum amount of effort.

Diane Abbott’s only gaff last week was apologising for being honest.

ANTI STEALTH TAX FLYER LAUNCHED

2012-01-07T14:52:00.000Z

Today I’ve started upon my email and postal campaign against Wokingham Borough Council’s stealth tax proposals due in April designed to charge twice for domestic waste collection which essentially sticks two fingers up to Defra and you.

If you don’t get a flyer in the post or via email but would like one, please let me know by the usual email address and I’ll send one over.

ED HATES SOOTIES

2012-01-07T14:06:00.001Z

Although Diane Abbott was only being accurate in her comment that us pink bastards like to divide and conquer other less pink races, Ed Milliband has struck back at her by praising the head of blackbusters.

The nasal canal challenged stool made the statement on his twitter site yesterday which was immediately picked up by the geeky arseholes frequenting the forum.

WOKINGHAM BOROUGH COUNCIL

2012-01-03T13:38:00.000Z

When Wokingham Borough Council attempts to introduce its backdoor stealth tax with their new teeny weeny skinny sacks in April 2012 – it’s worth noting the following:-

SCHEDULE 2

TYPES OF HOUSEHOLD WASTE FOR WHICH A CHARGE FOR COLLECTION MAY BE MADE

1. Any article of waste which exceeds 25 kilograms in weight.

2. Any article of waste which does not fit, or cannot be fitted into a receptacle for household waste provided in accordance with section 46 (WBCs teeny refuse packets).

Get it? They cunningly get you to accept their itsy bitsy bags, you can’t fit most of your waste into it without it popping – they charge you extra – it’s a brilliant way of getting more of your money – doh – didn’t see that one coming.

NEWS IN BRIEF

2011-12-29T13:14:00.001Z

A brainless, faceless creature, described as ‘elusive’ has been discovered in waters off Tankerness, Orkney.

Having a nerve chord down its back it is said to be regarded as a representative of the first animals to evolve a backbone.

Descendant of Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un has been formally declared as the new supreme leader of North Korea in a ceremony held in Pyongyang on Thursday.

GLORIA MADE ME CRY

2011-12-13T13:11:00.000Z

I was in tears last night whilst watching ‘The One Show’.

Those three lovely ladies who do so much good for the down trodden poor of Great Britain, Gloria Hunnidollop (baaaaaaaaaaaaaa), Angie Rippon (baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) and some other mid life crisis old bird (baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) reported that there are people in Britain who are so poor, so needy, so destitute that they have to walk for more than ten minutes just to get to a cash point that doesn’t charge for withdrawals.

The Ethiopian government has launched an appeal across their nation for donations to be sent to a part of Liverpool to build a free Link Machine where it was reported that a woman had to walk and walk and walk for a mile past countless cash points that charged £1.75 per transaction in the middle of an overcast evening with only her Blackberry and 20 Superkings to keep her warm just so she could get a tenner of her own money for eight cans of White Lightning.

BBC URGES EUTHANASIA

2011-12-02T17:05:00.000Z

BBC news has reacted to the recent government austerity announcements by backing up their previous bulletins confirming that things are shittier shit shit than the shitty shit shit confirmed last month.

The BBC stated yesterday that everyone in Britain is going to lose their job which is really really shit; all industry is closing down due to the fact that everything we make is exported to Italy which means really shitty prospects for Britain and loads more redundancies prior to Christmas making this the worst and shittiest shit shit year ever since records began in 1536 when things were really shit – ask any monk.

No-one in the UK is going to survive this with their health and every company in Britain is reporting shitty shit shit results prior to closing down and making everyone redundant to live in squalor prior to death from malnutrition and cold even though we’re not signed up to the Euro which could be scrapped but it’s better news to pretend that it’s worse than it could be.

News that a company in the New Forest had just taken on twenty four apprentices was greeted as laughable by senior (w) anchor man Robert Peston who denied categorically that there was anything good to report and therefore the news was clearly a government trick to pretend that there was no reason to kill yourself which you may as well do because it’s all shitty shit shit.

JOHN LEWIS - JOHN LEWIS

2011-12-02T13:56:00.000Z

John Lewis has truly excelled this year in their attempt at the most fucking depressing, miserable Christmas advert in the history of mankind which is sure to promote a peak in Paracetamol sales.

Cleverly giving their advert an NSPCC depressed, molested/beaten child touchy feel, John Lewis has mirrored the fact that their stores (certainly the one in Broad Street, Reading) seem to have applied the ‘shit – that’ll do’ approach on Christmas presentation.

Well done John Lewis – bring back Heelas; that store really had something unique that has now been replaced by unremarkable mediocrity – yawn.

http://www.johnlewis.com/Shops/DSTemplate.aspx?Id=36

CIGARETTE POVERTY

2011-12-02T13:38:00.000Z

When a charity such as Oxfam makes stupid, laughable claims such as 20% of people in the UK are living in poverty it understandably changes people’s perceptions and sympathies for the concept of poverty in general.

When someone living in poverty happily smokes twenty Lambert & Butler chav fags a day, chats to their friends on their Blackberry, wears Nike, owns a plasma TV and enjoys chocolate biscuits with their tea – poverty really isn’t that bad is it?

Combined with the UK Government giving copious amounts of our money to foreign governments that don’t deserve it such as India and Pakistan who both have sufficient wealth to deal with their own poor, it is any wonder that ‘Children in Need’ kept repeating that all the money you donate goes to children in the UK?

EFW - THE CON

2011-11-20T13:24:00.001Z

Twenty years ago Councils and waste management companies in the UK considered and managed waste along the lines of how efficiently they could collect rubbish, take it to a hole in the ground and bury it.

With ever changing national and European targets and legislation, waste management has moved from an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ operation toward one more concerned with reuse, recycling, segregation and reprocessing.

As the aforementioned industries and recycling capabilities improved and became more abundant the industry changed further to one of commodity broking.

Zero waste and landfill diversion sit at the opposite ends of the waste hierarchy. Zero waste is a concept that starts with the manufacturers of products and services revolving around the reduction and elimination of materials that cannot be recycled.

The most common example of the zero waste concept is the changing of a drink packaging from a foil/cardboard carton which has limited or localised recycling options to a glass bottle which has the ability and facilities to be recycled again and again without the necessity for the cullet to travel great distances.

Landfill diversion is a ridiculous calculation used by national and local governments to tick various boxes supposedly showing how hard they’re working to avoid putting waste into a hole in the ground which is made all the more laughable as it includes efw (energy from waste); essentially the burning of anything to generate electricity.

Material reprocessing (recycling) requires the segregation of a commodity either at source or via a MRF (Material Recycling Facility).

With a UK benchmark of 70% of all waste produced being capable of recycling, the required or feasible efw capacity can be easily calculated without forgetting that the ability to recycle something does not mean that it’s financially practical to do it.

Energy from waste would be a brilliant solution if the feed material was heavily monitored and governed to ensure that it was the 30% that would be diverted from landfill as opposed to being diverted from MRFs which it would appear is the trend amongst Borough and County Councils.

WEIHNACHTEN

2011-11-18T13:30:00.000Z

Clearly the eviction notice tied to the tents of all the foreign people camping around St Paul’s Cathedral giving them until 6.00 p.m. yesterday evening has had fuck all effect. As most of them probably don’t have English as their first language it’s hardly surprising.

Instead of going into a state of panic the demonstrators in our once fine capital chose to use the occasion to plan their Weihnachten celebrations.

SMOKERS HAVE RIGHTS

2011-11-17T17:08:00.000Z

When we started smoking we used to buy a different brand every time and compare notes. It was fun trying Dunhill, Craven A, Sovereign, JPS, Peter Stuyvesant, Sobranie, Gitanes etc etc.

Initially we had to sit on our pedal bikes waiting near the vending machine for the area to clear of people and then we’d race up to the machine, stick in a 10 pence and pedal off with our ten No 6 as fast as possible – great days.

Then (thirty plus years have passed) the government banned cigarettes in public places which included pubs and I stopped going to the pub.

Then, I gave up and I’m pleased to have ditched the habit.

Now the idea has been floated of banning smoking in all vehicles including private cars when you’re sitting there on your own having asked yourself whether you mind if you smoke and have happily agreed to it.

Next without doubt would be banning smoking from the home. This is an invasion of our (albeit no longer my) rights. Either make smoking illegal or don’t but if you don’t, stop nannying the man (and woman Reg) in the street.

IT'S ONLY A FAG - BUTT

2011-11-16T13:49:00.000Z

I was sitting in my car in yet another line of traffic caused by incompetent traffic light phasing when my attention was drawn to the window of a white Ford Fiesta in the next lane to me slowly lowering.

As the gap got to about five inches, a cigarette was flicked out in front of my car into the road to burn its remaining life away before becoming just another little piece of litter left until some hard working Council employee came to sweep it up.

How surprised was I when the Ford Fiesta registration number RO59 XJD moved forward to reveal that it was a Reading Borough Council ‘Streetcare’ Team vehicle? Aren’t they the people responsible for keeping the highways free of litter such as fag butts?

I appreciate that in his/her actions the driver was making work for a colleague and therefore securing a job for another Council employee and it was only a little fag butt, but doing it with the word ‘Streetcare’ emblazoned across your car door could possibly be viewed as putting out mixed messages.

BUY YOUR OWN BOOKS

2011-11-14T13:31:00.001Z

The closure of a local library is the potential denial of literature to an enquiring mind.

Wokingham possible has less real need than an inner London Borough to have public libraries and in the case of WBC they are claiming that the proposed installation of an outside managing company is merely a cost saver as opposed to a preamble to closure.

What comes over in droves about the change of status plans for Wokingham’s libraries is the now rather familiar contempt that the WBC Conservatives have for the electorate whether it be literature, waste management or car parking.

WOKINGHAM BOROUGH COUNCIL

2011-11-11T16:32:00.000Z

Wokingham Borough Council has admitted that the job of Chief Executive is so easy and meaningless that any arsehole can do it.

As such, Wokingham Borough Council has offered it to any arsehole that wants it following the departure of Susan Law at the end of this month.

Please go to 'get reading' or WBC for a request form.

2011-11-11T11:01:00.000Z

2011-11-11T10:59:00.002Z

MARKET FREEFALL

2011-11-10T14:03:00.000Z

World money markets went into freefall last night following news that the Somali goat exchange had collapsed devaluing the goat to less than 0.176 lambs per goat leading to speculation of interest rates rising to over six jerboa points across Africa.

Germany’s Angela Merkel met France's President Nicolas Sarkozy in the early hours of this morning to talk up how this is really scary shit and announced that the western world was going to blow up and we’d all starve in poverty unless the euro zone acted rapidly to buy up all of the surplus goats, gerbils and lambs in Africa.

Greek foreign minister Stavros Lambrinidis told waiting journalists that their parliament has ordered an immediate report into the possibility of a kleftiko party which would go some way toward preventing a nuclear dawn which could lead to the demise of civilization as we know it although the beer would have to be supplied by Germany free of charge.

Jamaica offered to buy twenty tonnes of goat and sample some gerbils however they’d have to pay in installments over a couple of years.

The BBC reacted by scheduling 19’876 news bulletins a day to tell the British public that we’re all going to die and life is shit and the weather’s shit and everything’s shit and we’re going to lose our jobs and the NHS is shit and kids are being beaten, the youth are rioting which is shit and food is being poisoned and it’s all shitty shit shit.

NEW GUILT LAWS DOWN UNDER

2011-11-09T13:50:00.000Z

NOVEMBER – Canberra: The government of Australia has passed new legislation.

It is now illegal for a white Australian to speak more than twenty five words without inserting the phrase “Australian Aboriginal culture is the oldest continuous living culture on the planet” within the sentence.

Under the new ‘Guilt Laws’, the ‘Hail Aborigine’ as it’s become known has been devised to acknowledge that Australian Aboriginal culture is the oldest continuous living culture on the planet and to assuage the rightful embarrassment of the settler whites all of whom are personally responsible for stealing the indigenous people’s land despite Australian Aboriginal culture being the oldest continuous living culture on the planet.

The United Nations has already received a mixed delegation of Incas, Beja people and Ogu Eji-Ofo Annu tribesmen (and women Reg) who refute that Australian Aboriginal culture is the oldest continuous living culture on the planet even though there is clear evidence that many of them predated Ned Kelly.

NOVEMBER – London: Strictly injury.

Holly Valance has reacted to her 'Strictly Come Dancing' partner Artem Chigvintsev's spinal injury sustained on Friday (November 4th 2011): “Artem and I really worked well together and I feel we were getting better every week. He’s still a young man though unlike Aboriginal culture which is the oldest continuous living culture on the planet”.

RIGHT TO REPLY

2011-11-09T09:57:00.000Z

In response to the concerns about Veolia’s contracts in Occupied Palestine a Veolia Environmental Services' spokesperson said: “Across the group, our goal in providing operational services within our water, waste, energy and transport divisions is to aid communities with social and economic development and improve access to vital infrastructure.

“The group has signed the UN Global Compact and has undertaken many projects with the UN and its related organisations including UNICEF, UNITAR, UNESCO and UN Habitat.

”The Jerusalem Light Railway project was procured following the Oslo Peace accord and in the context of a very real prospect of significantly improving the freedom and ease of movement of the local population regardless of creed, race or ethnic origin. Our involvement is not contrary to International Law and indeed recently a court in France specifically ruled that no breach of International or French law had been made.

IS WBC ANTI PALESTINE?

2011-11-05T12:53:00.001Z

Wokingham Borough Council has seemingly announced its contempt for Palestinians and the prospect of peace in the West Bank and the Jordan Valley by awarding its domestic waste collection contract to Veolia despite the growing worldwide campaign against the company.

Veolia has lost billions of dollars through their worldwide exclusion from tenders and contracts by organisations and councils due to the company’s contracts in occupied Palestine including the Jerusalem Light Railway Project, landfill operations in the Jordan Valley and bus services operated by Connex along Highway 443 in the West Bank which is ‘off limits’ to Palestinians (access to Jerusalem & Ramalla).

Within the UK, councils such as Ealing have declined Veolia’s bids for their domestic waste contracts worth around £300 million over 15 years.

Wokingham Borough Council obviously doesn’t see this global distaste as relevant.

THAT'S FINE

2011-11-03T13:48:00.000Z

So confident is Reading Borough Council that it will be able to trick motorists into entering bus lanes thus generating fines, the council has now added another £575,000 to their budgeted income per annum.

The Council is using various techniques to trick motorists into the fines such as hidden cameras, changing bus lane times and putting signage where it can’t be easily seen by motorists.

Being the smug Labour turds they are within RBC, they now believe that they will be able to shaft the residents of Reading by as much as £1.4 million a year in road fines - how lefty of them.

WHAT DO WE WANT?

2011-11-01T14:52:00.001Z

As the church loses more people over the part time layabouts demonstrating outside their pad in London against, er, errrr, whatever, none of whom seem to be British (demonstrators) as far as I can tell; two questions spring to mind.

1. If I set up a tent outside the Santi Giovanni e Paolo in Rome, how long would it be before the Italian police kicked the tiramisu out of me?

2. How do you keep a tent from blowing away when pitched on a pavement?

STANHOPE & JONES LANG LASALLE

2011-10-31T13:33:00.000Z

Having arrived in the Berkshire town of Reading by train that used to be famous for the three ‘B’s – (beer, biscuits and bulbs) but now stands for buses that change route every ten minutes, buggered up traffic lights and boarded up pubs - you’re greeted by two of the many shitty old buildings that say more about the place than any ephemeral publicity seeking ‘Pride’ awards or manky old pile of rocks that used to be an abbey.

Top marks to Tony Page for taking the time to write to those responsible for the eyesore shitholes that many years ago used to be the old bus station and the Thames Tower.

Stanhope (Our successful track record encompasses such landmark projects as the Tate Modern, Broadgate and Chiswick Park but blow it out of your arse if you live in Reading, Berkshire) and Jones Lang LaSalle (Working together to create value for real estate owners, investors and users but blow it out of your arse if you live in Reading, Berkshire) are to blame.

LETS RECYCLE NEWS

2011-10-28T12:28:00.003+01:00

I am pleased to announce that WBC has finally caught up with the news from 18.08.2011.

Item in letsrecycle.com

The borough council (Wokingham) announced yesterday (October 27) that it had awarded Veolia a seven year contract to carry out waste and recycling collections from April 2012, when its current contract with SITA UK comes to an end. The contract was agreed for an undisclosed sum.

SULHAM WOODS

2011-10-26T12:03:00.000+01:00

Dog walkers around Sulham Woods were alarmed to see two tracked vehicles traversing the copse yesterday allegedly carrying out a survey for Thames Water looking for underground water leaks.

Operation boss, Commander Ed Straker told Mrs Jillian Butler walking her Dalmatian on Tuesday that the SHADO 2 vehicles had nothing to do with the ridiculous story about an aircraft flying low over Mortimer, Calcot and Tilehurst and she shouldn’t believe all she read in the papers.

He did however ask her to ring Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organization if she happened to see a bloke running about with a red jump suit on.

SCHNEIDER TROPHY

2011-10-25T13:32:00.000+01:00

It doesn’t take any large leap of imagination to say that Britain didn’t lose WW2 thanks to the fact that we won the Battle of Britain in the skies.

Our success was due in the main to the skills of the multi-national pilots, a lot of whom were flying the Spitfire.

The Spitfire was born out of the Supermarine S.6B which would never have succeeded if it weren’t for Lady Lucy Houston – respect to Lady Houston.

SURVEY RESULTS

2011-10-25T13:15:00.000+01:00

If you die of a smoking related illness, chances are your Death Certificate will not make any connection to smoking even if the illness was irrefutably linked.

When asked, the doctors signing off the certificates said that they didn’t want to add to the relatives’ grief by saying that they did this to themselves.

If you die of an alcohol related illness, chances are your Death Certificate will mention drinking regardless of the grief this might cause to the grieving.

REASON

Doctors smoke like chimneys and don’t like to draw attention to it.

THE TILEHURST TRIANGLE

2011-10-24T13:26:00.000+01:00

More evidence is stacking up concerning the loss nine civil and military aircraft over the Tilehurst area of Reading, Berkshire.

British Airways has made an appeal for people to come forward following the disappearance of one Boeing 747, two Airbus 300s and a 787 all of which were last known to be around the Calcot area.

The United States Air Force has also logged a missing report on two F16 fighters flying out of Lakenheath that were last seen near the Silsila Indian Restaurant.

If you have any information or have found the wreckage of a 747 behind your shed or wood pile please notify Thames Valley Police or the CAA on 0207 379 7311.

If you have found an aircraft smaller than an F16 fighter, please call ‘Any Junk’ for a competitive quotation.

NEW LIGHTS POLICY

2011-10-23T12:55:00.001+01:00

Reading Borough Council has announced that it is considering changing the days it fucks up the traffic light phasing around Reading from Tuesdays and Thursday to Mondays and Fridays as from November 2011.

The Council has sought the views of local residents over the last eight weeks and confirmed that there is “no appetite for free flowing traffic on Fridays” and that the people of Reading simply want to see some conformity and reliability when it comes to grid-locked roads.

GADDAFI HURT PRIOR TO BEING KILLED

2011-10-23T12:29:00.000+01:00

As Westerners we have the God given right to blow whoever we want to bits, invade where we like and send helicopters to hunt down and kill anyone that takes our fancy regardless of who’s country they’re in.

Dirty foreign people who don’t use knives and forks, drink loads of alcohol or loot branches of Makro are all fair game especially if we’ve supplied them with shit loads of weapons in the past only to have them develop their own misguided opinions that go against what we know is right at a later date.

Who do those nasty Libyan bastards think they are? The French fairly attempted to blow that shit Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi up using proper, legal and good bombs but alas failed to spread the bastard across his hometown of Sirte.

Those so called freedom fighters then caught him alive and were beastly to him, pushing him around and hurting him before shooting him – that’s not fair, not nice and very un-European.

REST IN PEACE

2011-10-23T11:56:00.000+01:00

Dan Wheldon & Marco Simoncelli

I THAI

2011-10-20T14:17:00.000+01:00

I had a meal in Jamie’s Italian in the Oracle this week and boy do I wish I hadn’t.

Firstly, they should write on the blackboards outside exactly what they haven’t got – i.e. crispy squid because apparently it’s popular, and secondly it should be called Jamie’s Thai as the meatball carbonara was the least Italian tasting thing I’ve ever eaten due to the excessive use of lemons that tasted more like lemongrass.

They try to cram you into the tightest space between other diners when the place is virtually empty and if you resist you’re treated like a leper.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough – do yourself a favour, go to Bella Italia.

HONDA TO LEAVE SWINDON

2011-10-14T13:55:00.000+01:00

The proud anti turbine campaigning residents of Swindon are celebrating this afternoon following the ruling that the Honda car plant will not be allowed to erect three green energy wind turbines needed to keep the company profitable and environmentally friendly.

When Honda closes the plant and moves production to Eastern Europe putting the Swindon workforce out to graze they’ll all be able to sit on the street corners and take in the beautiful sight of Swindon without those ugly turbines – lucky unemployed people.

OLIVER LITTERBIN

2011-10-14T12:34:00.001+01:00

Stuck up gutbucket Oliver Letwin has managed to ruin his credibility (don’t laugh) and break some laws all in one go.

Dumping Governmental memo’s and correspondence into waste bins in a park not only indicates his contempt for our country and the people mentioned within the missives but if he lived in Reading he’d be fined for fly tipping trade waste and probably penalised for failing to treat the documents in line with the terms of the Data Protection Act 1998.

Fortunately he’s a snout in trough politician and as such will no doubt escape any prosecution – lucky you’re not an RBC Council Tax payer Ollie you arse.

KILLING FOXES

2011-10-14T12:04:00.000+01:00

People living in Tokers Green fed up with foxes in the area have taken the matter into their own hands and set traps across various gardens designed to lure the animals in and then strangle them to death.

If you’d like to see what an inhumane fox killing bastard looks like get yourself over to Russell Road and pick a house, many in the street now have the strangulation devices.

READING RUBBISH

2011-10-05T13:35:00.003+01:00

According to Councillor Gitt, head of rubbish in Reading, there is no appetite for a return to weekly rubbish collections as it would increase costs because more landfill tax would be levied on the Council.

Now there’s a man with his finger on the pulse. I was under the impression that Landfill Tax was charged at £56.00 per tonne regardless of how often you tipped?

READING BUSES

2011-10-03T12:55:00.000+01:00

Last week the government announced its intention to increase the speed limit on Britain’s roads to 80 miles per hour in an attempt to show the world that we as a nation are doing our bit and reducing CO2 due to the fact that instead of achieving 14% of the permissible speed limit on our motorways, we’ll now be travelling at 12% of the permissible speed instead.

Reading Buses has launched its own campaign to justify another new fleet of vehicles by changing the timetables yet again causing everyone to miss the bus they usually caught which either no longer exists or now runs at thirty minute intervals from another stop going to different destinations.

Following the latest confusion, The Royal Berks Hospital treated twenty seven old ladies for assorted illnesses who had actually intended to go shopping at Waitrose in Caversham and Waitrose in Caversham sold out of plasters and Savlon in less than an hour.

WELSH BAGS

2011-09-30T13:45:00.001+01:00

A man walks into a Welsh shop and buys three spuds, an apple and two pears. The shop assistant puts them into a single use shopping bag but doesn’t charge him for the bag. The man is now the proud owner of some fruit, some vegetables and a bag.

Suddenly the man remembers that he needs a box of tea bags and picks up a box of 80 PG tips. The shop assistant charges him for the tea, puts the box into the bag with the fruit and vegetables and charges him for the bag that he previously had given him for nothing – “it’s the law - you’re new to Wales, aren’t you”?

The man somewhat miffed goes next door and buys a bag of chips. The greasy person behind the counter charges him for the chips and puts them into a single use shopping bag but doesn’t charge him for the bag. The man is now the proud owner of some fruit, some vegetables, a bag he’s had to pay for, some chips and a free bag.

“Actually, I’ll have a cheeseburger as well please” he says. The spotty person takes a burger from the rack and charges him for the burger and the bag that he had previously given him for nothing – “it’s the law – you’re new to Wales aren’t you”?

The man leaves the fast food outlet and gets the shit kicked out of him by three Environment Agency officers for having a bad attitude and his appalling behavior.

GREEK PAY BACK

2011-09-29T14:11:00.000+01:00

I realise that it’s now politically incorrect to mention the fact that German people had any role in WWII and it was all the fault of horrible people called Nazis who weren’t Germans at all.

However, call them what you will, the Nazis or Germans were pretty keen to have a bit of Greece in April 1941 and now the Greeks see it as only right and proper that the Nazis – sorry Germans should work until they’re 67 or even 69 so they (the Greeks) can retire six years earlier at 63 on big f*c7 off pensions.

This is all because the Greek economy was ravished by enforced exports following invasion and that Hitler chappy took an interest free loan of 476 million reichmarks from the Greek version of Northern Rock leaving the country with massive inflation. As a result, all Greeks ended up with a lower standard of living playing the bouzouki, eating leaves stuffed with rice and drinking Retsina that was originally formulated in Peenemünde to fuel V1 rockets.

Greeks to this day want their $95 Billion (reparation costs) back and if the Germans aren’t going to cough up in cash then by jingo they can bloody well work until they’re 69 and they can thank the Wehrmacht.

GOVERNMENT REVIEW OF WASTE POLICY 2011

2011-09-29T10:47:00.000+01:00

Householders and Local Authorities Working Together

Wokingham Borough Council cannot fail to finally admit that their plans to charge for additional waste (over and above 80 skinny mini sacks per annum) are now totally defunct following the publication of the Government Review of Waste Policy in England 2011.

Please see below text from the above document.

We have already announced that we are abolishing proposals to introduce new bin taxes for householders based on the amount of waste they produce. The Government believes bin charging is counter-productive and would harm the local environment by fuelling flytipping. This includes ensuring that householders have access to civic amenity sites where they can deposit their waste and recycling free at the point of use. The Government is committed to this important principle and is opposed to charging for the mainstream collection and disposal of waste from householders.

In particular, Section 46 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990, allows local authorities to specify how householders present their waste for collection. Currently, householders who fail to comply could face a criminal conviction and a fine of up to £1000. It is clearly disproportionate for criminal sanctions, and this level of fine, to be an option when a householder fails to present their waste for collection correctly. We understand this power is very rarely used but it is widely quoted by local authorities and it cannot be right for this kind of threat to be hanging over householders. We will repeal this provision to remove this option from local authorities.

My thanks to stat boy slim for pointing me to this document.

WASTE INDUSTRY KILLS NOBODY

2011-09-28T16:56:00.002+01:00

According to ‘Let’s Recycle’; "There have been no deaths so far in the waste and recycling sector in Britain in 2011/12, according to the Health and Safety Executive".

So its official, Biffa Waste Services hasn’t killed anyone this year! Now that’s something to celebrate – have they closed all of their MRFs and Civic Amenity sites?

http://www.letsrecycle.com/news/latest-news/waste-management/hse-no-waste-sector-deaths-so-far-in-2011-12

PRIMARK LIBEL

2011-09-23T12:53:00.001+01:00

According to Marjory Bisset of the Wokingham Green Party:-

“Cheap clothes such as are sold by Primark and the supermarkets are so cheap because the people who make them, usually in the Third World, are paid very low wages and have poor working conditions”

Do you think Primark know about this?

http://marjorysgreen.blogspot.com/

MOST PREVARICATING IN THE UK

2011-09-20T17:03:00.001+01:00

According to Marjory Bisset of the Wokingham Greens "The UK is one of the most unequal developed societies on the planet".

Surely this must rank as one of the most stupid things said by a Green Party candidate or indeed anybody on the planet?

She's the one on the right (the one that hates wind turbines).

UBS – WHAT LOSERS

2011-09-18T15:56:00.001+01:00

A colleague at work goes out to the shop at lunch. You ask him to buy you a bottle of white wine and give him the money.

He takes your money and buys 20 Benson & Hedges thinking that on the way back to the office he can sell them for more than you gave him, buy a bottle of wine for you and keep the profit.

This is ETF Trading and the UBS bank gambler (trader – laughed out loud) Kweku Adoboli ran up debts of $2 Billion (£1.3 Billion) because he was clearly extremely shit at it.

UBS deserves all the losses it has incurred and you can only feel sorry for the Swiss taxpayers who bailed the crappy bank out following the 2007/8 banking crisis, then again it's the Swiss Banks that retained all the gold and stolen Jewish art for the Nazis since the second world war? – so don’t feel sorry for them.

GIVE BACK THE FALKLANDS

2011-09-18T13:32:00.002+01:00

FOGL (Falkland Oil & Gas Limited) intends to start drilling for oil in the first quarter of 2012. The fact that the islands and the oil belongs to Argentina still seems lost on the Britain Government and the 2’500 odd Falkland inhabitants though.

Hong Kong never actually belonged to us and we gave it back. Hasn’t the time come to bite the bullet and call back the four state of art Typhoons (£126 Million each), 1,000 troops, HMS Clyde (a snip at a mere £30 Million) with its crew of 41 and disassemble the very expensive Rapier missile system?

Strange how we cancel the Nimrod upgrade, give our new as yet unfinished aircraft carriers to the French, lay off all of our Harriers and pilots but carry on chucking good money at the cold and useless rocks that are closer to Argentina than Britain all in the name of oil that would cost more to ship and process (if found) than anything from the North Sea.

Whilst we are all tightening our belts at home, we are paying £60 Million a year to guard a Spar shop and some sheep and still we get nothing in return – give back Las Malvinas and build some more hospitals and stuff where British people might actually benefit from them – in Britain.

THE G.R.U.B.

2011-09-18T12:31:00.001+01:00

As is my right to not work for a few days in the Autumn and Winter I have decided to form my own union and go out on strike. My union is based upon the following:-

I have a right to have one (whatever) regardless of whether you have one (whatever) or not.
If you’ve got one (whatever), I should have one (whatever) and it should be at least as good as yours.
Just because you’ve got one (whatever), I still have a right to not have one (whatever).
If I’ve got one (whatever), it’s because I deserve one (whatever).
If you can afford to have two (whatevers), you should pay for mine.
If you disagree with my right to have one (whatever), I have the right to make you suffer.

ALL OUT

2011-09-16T16:18:00.001+01:00

The GMB union, which has more than 300,000 brothers (and sisters Reg) has warned that the action (striking – therefore inaction) could (hopefully) spread into next summer, hitting the London Olympics and the Queen's jubilee – warned? They love it and can’t wait to screw both events up.

If you’d like to be a militant communist and don’t want to work for a living – don’t worry! You can still join the gang if you’re unemployed however consideration must be given to the fact that if you decide to go on strike, ironically this will mean working for a wage.

Their site says:

"Membership of the GMB isn't only available to those in work. If you are an existing GMB member and you become unemployed, or are on long-term sick and you are no longer receiving a salary from work you can still enjoy all the benefits of GMB membership - at the reduced rate of 5p a week (22p per month or £2.60 per year). However, you are not covered for work related issues and you must inform us as soon as you return to work to enable us to place you on the appropriate contribution grade".

GOODBYE GREECE

2011-09-15T12:40:00.000+01:00

I’m bored to shit with Greece – will they, won’t they? Whether Greece defaults or not is like waiting for a Reading bus – you don’t know when it’s going to happen, just that it will eventually.

If I were a Greek right now I’d be praying for default to come sooner rather than later. Let the Belgium, Portuguese and German banks sort out the mess, let Greece crash and burn out of the Euro, re-establish its own economy, re-establish and devalue its own currency and sort out their own problems.

At least a devalued Greece using the Drachma would be free to administer its own medication and start to attract shit loads of tourists as one of the cheapest places to holiday.

I happily admit that sitting here eating my sandwich in Reading, Berkshire, I’m rather naive about world debt; I do however fully appreciate that Greek debt is not British debt, we are not in the Eurozone and our banks have only a minimal hit to take.

Power to the Greek people – it’s not their fault that their country owes 300 zillion and the thought of living your next fifteen years cap in hand to the IMF stinks worse than a rancid feta.

YOU CAN'T GET ME OUT

2011-09-14T13:06:00.003+01:00

This autumn and winter a number of outdated and slightly out of touch dinosaur unions intend to take their ever dwindling gangs of militant communist members out on strike in order to cause the true working man (and woman Reg) as much discomfort as possible to get more money, more rights and better pensions than the 85% of men (and women Reg) not in a union.

As a quick reference guide to who’s being a little selfish and who’s in the real world, please see below the gangs who want to bugger our economy and lives up this winter:-

ATL (Association of Teachers & Lecherers)
GMB (people that make boilers)
Unison
Unite
NASUWT (more teachers and lecherers)
NUT Public and Commercial Services (PCS) union

NEW IN @ NO.7

The Fire Brigade's Union

SITA – SON OF SUEZ

2011-09-07T16:29:00.000+01:00

Suez prosecuted and fined by EU for cartels and cover-ups

In July 2010 the EC opened a prosecution against Suez Environnement for 'breaking seals' fixed during the raids, which could have been done to try and cover up evidence:

"The European Commission (Commission) has opened formal proceedings against French group Suez Environnement over an alleged breach of a seal affixed to an office during an on-site inspection.

http://www.psiru.org/node/15940

SHOUTING SPITE

2011-09-03T18:28:00.000+01:00

I was standing at a bus stop on Basingstoke Road last Friday (yesterday) morning when a Reading Borough Council dustcart pulled up at the lights.

The driver leaned out of the window and shouted something along the lines of “oi dickhead, you better not have missed any of those fuckin bins” whilst putting up his middle finger to another Council bloke on our side of the road emptying litter bins.

To his credit, the bloke emptying the bins didn’t copy the foul mouthed arsehole driving the dustcart and continued on his mission.

At the bus stop along side me were a woman with a young child, an old chap and a guy with earphones stuck in his head that probably missed the whole thing. This bloke is on more than £30k a year.

GLOBAL WARMING SHOCKER

2011-09-03T17:29:00.002+01:00

Research findings published by none other than CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, in the journal Nature which holds cosmic rays and the Sun, not human activities, responsible for global warming, isn't exactly what Gore would welcome right now.

http://img.ibtimes.com/www/articles/20110901/206879_global-warming-climate-change-ipcc-al-gore-alarmists-cern-experiment-sun-cosmic-rays-chambor-cloud-c.htm

WHO IS CLOTHES AID AIDING?

2011-09-03T14:28:00.001+01:00

Christian Aid – Wateraid – Clothes Aid – all names that confirm the charity status of the organisation.

“Clothes Aid is a social business which collects clothes door-to-door across the country, to raise money for a range of UK charities. Clothes are weighed and then sold in shops in nearby countries to raise money for UK charities back home”.

“Clothes Aid can give your clothes a second chance, help reduce environmental damage and raise money for the causes you care about, all without costing you a penny. Each year Clothes Aid guarantees £1.4 million for UK charities through the sale of donated clothes”.

Last week, the British Heart Foundation spoke out against certain organizations who prevaricate that they’re working for charity but in reality only donate a pittance of the money raised from clothes sales retaining the majority of the revenue in the guise of paying their ‘operating costs’.

Clothes Aid backed the claims from the BHF and confirmed to a BBC Radio 4 audience that it donates a massive 90% of its profits.

Their website states:-

“Clothes Aid was involved in various press comments following a British Heart Foundation survey released on 31 August which stated that: “New research by British Heart Foundation shops shows that as little as a third (30%) of items donated to charity via letterbox charity bags stand a chance of ending up in charity shops”.

"The British Heart Foundation findings, launched in advance of a major fundraising drive this month, also assert that in some cases as little as 5% is paid to a charity who is working with a commercial company”.

How strange that Clothes Aid shouts so loudly against the low life bogus operators when their own (ex) Operations and Business Development Manager Celine Rich-Darley states on her Linked-in site that Clothes Aid has an annual turnover of £23 Million across ten franchises.

£1.4 Million is only 6% of £23 Million – i.e. 6 pence in the pound goes to charity. If £1.4 Million is 90% of their profit – that’s an overall profit of £1.55 Million which leaves operating costs of £21.5 Million per annum?

Would you give £1.00 to someone who promised that 6 pence of it would get to the charity?
http://uk.linkedin.com/in/celinerich

RBC DECLARE WAR ON GRUNDON

2011-08-26T13:27:00.000+01:00

Reading Borough Council has declared all out war on the waste management private sector in the Borough following the launch of their highly subsidised Trade Waste service using public funded vehicles, drivers, depots, fuel and associated infrastructure to compete unfairly in the market.

Due to a tax loophole, the Council is not charging VAT on its services and as such they are able to significantly undercut the private sector i.e. Grundon, Biffa, WRG etc, most of whom employ local Reading residents who pay Council Tax and therefore are effectively funding the operator (RBC) to take their livelihoods away from them.

Fortunately for Reading Borough Council, if they totally bollocks it up as they have done on numerous occasions with their bus company – it doesn’t matter as the public will always be there to bail them out again and again and again.

Just an idea but how about running a fleet of state of the art gas powered dustcarts? – doh – I forgot, they’ve already wasted a shit load of money on that turkey.

THE MAKRO CONSPIRACY

2011-08-24T15:31:00.000+01:00

PROFUMO AFFAIR – ASSASSINATION OF JFK – WATERGATE – MAKRO

Senior management at Makro are remaining tight lipped about the alleged looting of their Reading branch two weeks ago having claimed that it never happened although they did admit that the Reading store was unusually busy between 11.37 p.m. and 1.49 a.m. one night and that one of the tills was found to be slightly under by £15,712.14 when they cashed up the following day.

In answer to allegations of the looting, Makro management confirmed that they use a stock control system developed by the British Army and as such they were unable to confirm that any stock was actually lost, rather they didn’t know where it was.

Thames Valley Police likewise replied to reporters’ questions that they didn’t realise that there was a Makro in Reading which caused some consternation in the ranks at the realisation that they’d been missing out on cheap Minky Advantage ironing board covers (product code 323768) now selling at £19.99 a pop.

Local minority group leaders have made a joint statement that if there is a Makro in Reading and if it was looted and if the Company and Police did decide to pretend it didn’t happen then that would hypothetically be a good thing as it would have prevented copy cat looting elsewhere in the town which there might have been although no-one has come forward admitting to owning a shop, a hoody or a Blackberry mobile phone in the town.

Makro management also confirmed that although there definitely was no incident on Tuesday 9th August, should anybody come across 786 Minky Advantage ironing board covers they may have been mislaid by their store at some time however they were not suggesting for one minute that they have been lost or stolen by anyone, especially not anybody living around South Reading.

WBC BACK THE FRENCH

2011-08-22T13:56:00.000+01:00

Veolia, a French multinational, are involved in several projects in occupied Palestine, providing services to Israel’s illegal settlements.

(see http://www.corporatewatch.org/?lid=3433, http://www.corporatewatch.org/?lid=3474 and http://www.corporatewatch.org/?lid=3514).

http://corporateoccupation.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/walking-the-route-of-veolias-tramline-in-east-jerusalem/

CONSISTENT

2011-08-22T13:37:00.001+01:00

FINED OCTOBER 2010

Waste company Veolia has been fined £225,000 after a litter collector died in a collision between one of its vehicles and a lorry.

Agency worker Damian Griffiths, 20, from Swanley, Kent died in the accident on the A228 in East Peckham in 2007. Veolia was found guilty of breaching the Health and Safety Act by a jury at Maidstone Crown Court in August.

FINED FEBRUARY 2010

Veolia Environmental Services (UK) Ltd has been fined £130,000 following an incident in Buckinghamshire which saw a worker killed when a 1,100 litre recycling bin fell on his head.

Veolia employee David Ives, 56, was collecting refuse outside a pub in Easington, near Aylesbury, on 5 May 2004 when the recycling bin fell from the bin hoist on the back of the refuse vehicle and landed on his head, killing him.

Aylesbury Crown Court found Veolia guilty last week (Thursday 11 February) under Sections 3 (1) and 2 (1) of the Health and Safety at Work etc Act 1974. In addition to the £130,000 fine, the firm was also ordered to pay £220,000 in costs.

FINED DECEMBER 2009

Veolia has been fined £150,000 and ordered to pay £90,000 in prosecution costs “after a massive inferno which closed motorways and schools and brought Preston’s roads to a standstill.”

Passing sentence at Preston Crown Court, Judge Stuart Baker said it was “merciful” that no-one was hurt or killed. Burning missiles were thrown up to 200 feet in the air as over 132,000 litres of chemicals were set alight in the blaze on July 2 2007. As fire raged through the site almost 70 firefighters and 10 senior officers battled for more than eight hours to bring the 30 ft flames under control.

Veolia ES UK Ltd – which owns 15% of the entire UK waste materials market – pleaded guilty to two breaches of Health and Safety Regulations relating to the segregation of hazardous waste and the appropriate training of staff to handle flammable and combustible substances.

Fire broke out at the waste handling site on the Red Scar Industrial Estate at around 6am when lithium batteries shipped in from the Ministry of Defence in Northern Ireland spontaneously combusted, setting fire to oxidisers and organic peroxides which were being stored nearby.

FINED JANUARY 2009

The UK's largest waste management company, Veolia Environmental Services (UK) Ltd, has today been ordered to pay to £166,000 in fines and costs after an incident at its hazardous waste treatment facility in Bootle, Merseyside.

This was a totally avoidable incident had the proper procedures been in place and it was only through good fortune that the consequences were not more serious

Daniel Longdon, HSE

The company was fined £101,000 and ordered to pay £65,000 costs after an incident at the facility on April 27, 2006 caused the release of toxic fumes which led to four members of staff having to receive medical treatment and several members of the public reporting side effects.

Veolia ES pleaded guilty to eight charges which were brought against it in a joint prosecution by the Environment Agency (EA) and the Health and Safety Executive (HSE).

FINED AUGUST 2009

Veolia fined £26,737 for failure to control odours

Veolia one of the bidders for the Leeds Waste contract was fined £26,737 in July 2009 by the Environment Agency for failing to control odours at a facility in High Wycombe despite the installation of an odour suppression system.

Stinks to high heaven says the Environment Agency press release..

The UK.s leading waste management provider was ordered to pay 26,737 yesterday (Monday, 20 July) for a breach of odour conditions.

Veolia was fined for a consistent breach in conditions at the High Heavens composting facility in High Wycombe between June and December 2006. Thames Water Services Limited operated the business at the time of the breaches, but Veolia took over management of the site and responsibility for the breaches in November 2007.

FINED 2008

In 2008, Veolia was fined £13,500 for a major sewage spill which had closed beaches along the Forth estuary. Around 120 million litres of screened sewage went into the Forth after a mechanical failure at Veolia’s Edinburgh pumping station. The same year Veolia was fined £1,000 for illegally landfilling liquid wastes, with a fine the previous April for a similar incident and a string of prosecutions related to illegal waste disposal.

FINED 2007

Veolia has been fined just £2,000 after admitting that newly acquired business Cleanaway sent liquid and flammable hazardous wastes to landfill, nearly two years after the practice was banned. Solvents With Safety was fined for similar offences

MORRISONS NOT LOOTED

2011-08-19T09:26:00.000+01:00

Morrisons Supermarket in Basingstoke Road is counting its blessings this week after looters steered clear of the store, preferring instead to go to Makro.

Reading Evening Post caught up with eight of the looters at Makro who confirmed that they didn’t have the requisite pound coin for the trolley at Morrisons so moved on the Makro as a second choice.

WBC DUMP SITA

2011-08-18T17:08:00.001+01:00

Wokingham Borough Council has finally decided to break its long running cosy partnership with cheap as pommes frites French waste management company SITA (the lot that currently run the dirty old dustcarts that look like they’ve never seen a sponge) and instead opt for another French waste management company, Veolia, to collect it’s domestic waste in the borough.

So it’s Veolia that will be collecting the new illegal, skinny, mini WBC waste sacks in April next year however they allegedly won’t be operating out of the well placed Wokingham depot that SITA currently inhabit preferring instead to operate from Hampshire (Hartley Wintney) near Biffa which at least can make some claims to being British.

Does this mean that the people living in Wokingham will be getting the envelope pushing wheelie bins? Errrr – no. Does this mean that Wokingham has opted for a less unionised workforce? Errrr – no.

Why this love affair with French waste companies I wonder? Because they do it for peanuts?

CHINESE U-BOATS

2011-08-16T14:24:00.000+01:00

The Government of Pakistan (that’s the Pakistan that was home to OBL until his alleged death) can hardly contain itself these days waiting for the delivery of their new Chinese attack submarines purchased to defend their country from Afghanistan aggressors who would have bought their own fleet of submarines if only they had the money and a coastline.

The £1.4 billion fleet of Chinese U-boats is effectively a gift from Britain who donated £1.4 billion of foreign aid to Pakistan just before they placed their order to take away the military hardware.

How can we complain about India having a space program and Pakistan having a few U-boats when we have a massive Police force, more hospitals than we know what to do with no waiting lists, no unemployed and a railway that’s the envy of Burkina Faso?

MORE POLICE - LESS THERESA MAY

2011-08-15T13:11:00.000+01:00

The times they really are a changing when I sit in front of the television and cringe over a Conservative politician claiming responsibility for telling the Police to get out there and stop people rioting.

Theresa May will be taking the credit for the fact that the Police officers on duty last week were wearing pants next – maybe, just maybe, they might have thought of that themselves?

We need more Police officers, more riot squad, more armed response units, more prisons and more rights as individuals to proactively defend our property without the threat of punishment by the courts.

In the past a stronger Police Force has been the favoured path of the Tories but now it would seem that the cardigan wearing Lib Dems have muddied the thinking of what could have been a great coalition government.

FOREIGN AID

2011-08-13T13:53:00.000+01:00

The time has come to abolish Britain’s foreign aid budget until further notice.

Whilst I loathe the argument spewed out by the likes of the Green Party that recent looting is a result of kids not having this year’s Nike training shoes or the prospect of eating at Pizza Hut three times a week even though they own a Blackberry, maybe they have a point.

So no doubt the Green Party will agree that we have to stop sending money to people in other countries to pay for their space program or greenhouses to grow flowers and invest the money in our country, on our people, British people.

However if a British person is one born here, even if we cut all foreign aid we’d still be left funding the birth of babies from all over the world – if Ealing Hospital is anything to go by 80% of babies born there are not to British parents – are we mad? This is pure economics – spend it on others and you haven’t got it to spend on yourself.

If you really want to blame the recent looting on anything, blame it on Britain’s foreign aid budget (set to rise to £12.6 Billion by 2014).

BAT A LOOTER

2011-08-13T12:50:00.000+01:00

News that our Police now have the authority to use rubber bullets on mainland Britain should be celebrated. With our prisons and Police cells full to capacity we should lobby our local authorities and Police chiefs to forget trying to arrest any looters and put them in hospital instead.

Poverty and poor prospects play no part in looting a JD Sports for training shoes or raiding Makro whilst scared staff were there on night shift and our Police should adopt the same ‘fuck you’ attitude of the scum and go for maximum pain, maximum effect and maximum pay back.

Pathetic calls by left wing groups to listen to the disenfranchised youth make me puke, the people looting have given this country fuck all and deserve nothing.

Maybe now the Government will u-turn and employ more Police officers, more riot squad and more gun toting lawmen – I hope so.

GLOBAL YAWNING

2011-08-12T16:20:00.000+01:00

ON THE CLIMATE THING

Who says the climate we have now is the right one?

I totally agree that banging out CO2 and methane into the atmosphere is damaging however it’s easy to sit in one’s armchair and point the finger at industry saying that it’s their fault and there’s nothing I can do about it. China is commissioning a new coal powered plant every two weeks and truth be told – there really is nothing we can do as it’s their time for industrial revolution, we’ve had ours and little old me in Reading can do little to sway the Chinese – nor for that matter can Green Reading, Greenpeace or the Campaign against Climate Change – they don’t care what you think.

GREENHOUSE GASES

How would the average farmer feel if a green alliance tree hugging love child of an Inuit and Native American Indian couple visited him and told him in no uncertain terms that if the human race really wants to act on global warming then we’ve all got to stop eating meat? Cow and sheep burps account for by far the majority of methane (22 x more damaging than CO2) sent into the atmosphere dwarfing industrial output?

Are we going to stop eating meat? Can we invent a pill that stops sheep burping? No and no.

Using PV, wave and wind delivery systems really is a no brainer. We’ll never be able to keep up with the Chinese and Indians building their coal plants but reducing our emissions can to a minor extent dampen the blow to the atmosphere. To do this in the UK however we need to remove the NIMBY chant ‘it will ruin my view’ and publish more data proving once and for all that wind turbines do not make sheep abort, there’s no such thing as wind slap and a turbine can only ever be 100% efficient – see below.

WATER

No-one has ever died from a lack of water on planet Earth – rather a lack of investment required to get them to the water or the water to them. We can pump oil thousands of miles across Siberia so it can be done with water however the wealth of the Ethiopian/Somalian and value of his land forbids it.

A typical Nimitz class aircraft carrier can desalinate 400,000 gallons of sea water into potable drinking water per day however the wealth of the Ethiopian/Somalian and value of his land forbids it.

INVESTMENT

Where am I going with all of this? Well if you’re an African and you have to walk twenty miles to get water then move. If your land doesn’t support crops then move. As cynical as this sounds – over the last five years the largest greenhouse development in the world was constructed in Ethiopia – encouraging news don’t you think. It grows flowers for export.

SUSTAINABILITY

There is far more land available for crop growing than is being utilized and you don’t have to go to Somalia or the Australian outback to find it. England is supposedly the most populated country in Europe but ask anyone who’s landed at Heathrow what you see as you fly in and the answer is hundreds of thousands of acres of land on set-aside or growing biofuel destined oil seed rape.

THE FUTURE

Britain is the only country actually looking forward to climate change. In years to come we will be growing olives, lemons, limes and oranges and do you know the downside to all of this? We lose Portsmouth to rising sea levels – that’s a win/win situation if ever I heard one.

AUSTRALIA

In Australia there is an abundance of water – the sea. There is an abundance of renewable energy – the sun. Power availability plus sea water = desalination yet the Australian Government still allows their farmers to wallow in dust following the fourth/fifth/sixth year of low rainfall.

I don’t know the economics of Australia or the plight of the Australian farmer in any depth however I do totally understand the equation that a wind turbine or a PV energy capture plant can never be viewed as inefficient (power in divided by power out) when the energy source in is free – still you (Australia) can only boast less than 0.2% of your energy coming from solar – embarrassing.

I love renewable energy and campaign against NIMBY groups in the UK – this is where we should be diverting our energies (in my opinion).

DAISY BENSON

2011-07-02T17:10:00.000+01:00

Seeing as ‘Daisy's Campaign Diary’ by Daisy Benson (Leader of the Liberal Democrat Group on Reading Borough Council and ward councillor for Redlands) doesn’t accept comments no matter how hard you try I have to reply here:

Many families living in seriously overcrowded homes are not the Council’s fault.

In these times of funding cuts everyone has to take more responsibility for their own actions, their own wealth generation, their own breeding and the limitations surrounding them.

Council houses and affordable housing for those that need them are available and so they should be.

If the number of properties was to constantly expand to demand, what amount of properties would you stop at Daisy Benson?http://daisyscampaigndiary.blogspot.com/

SAM APPEAL

2011-07-02T15:15:00.003+01:00

Following recent discussions at work with colleagues, I have decided to reawaken my appeal to raise funds to purchase a community surface to air missile.

I have written to Waitrose Limited to ask whether the ‘COMSAM 1’ fund could be considered for inclusion within their green token scheme however they’re clearly very busy people and they haven’t had the time as yet to reply.

Wishing to buy British we have been offered a cheap ‘Bristol Bloodhound’ SAM although upon inspection it was a tad rusty and as such we have chosen the HQ7 missile which will only cost around $190,000 being made in China – this includes the launcher which will be used for other community projects after initial use.

Once purchased, the COMSAM 1 Committee Members will hold an open day in Calcot on the first sunny Sunday available to all who have contributed where they will be able to witness its proposed use to seek and destroy the arsehole that does aerobatics over Calcot, Tilehurst and South Reading.

Having blown him/her out of the sky, the Committee will be raffling off pieces of charred bi-plane to raise money to repair the roof of St Mary Magdalen Church in Tilehurst.

LIGHTNING STRIKES

2011-06-29T10:30:00.000+01:00

I’m all in favour of the teachers striking tomorrow because they want us to fund better pension rights for them than we get in the private sector. Some would say that they’re not in the real world or even that they’re acting like they’ve never left school, but not me.

They should be able to go into their eight week summer holidays knowing that they’ve got a job for life and that we will pay them well into their old age. Maybe we could let them retire at 53 – it works for the Greeks?

It should be a breeze driving into work tomorrow – good for them.

HUGH O’DONNELL

2011-06-25T15:48:00.001+01:00

If a British Policeman witnessed a man spray painting graffiti on a shop front, would he:

A. Ask the man to kindly desist
B. Shove the man in the back knocking him to the ground causing him to have a fatal heart attack
C. Stand back and watch the man spray paint over every shop for three years doing irreparable damage before arresting him

If the Policeman was actually an officer working for the British Environment Agency, the answer would be ‘C’.

Hugh O’Donnell has been paraded across the media this week for illegally dumping 70’000 cubic metres of waste over an area bigger than five football pitches, over a period of three years in Aldermaston near Reading, Berkshire.

Considering the vehicle movements necessary to tip that amount of waste, this must have been a very visual operation.

In the UK the onus is upon the waste producer to ensure that their waste is collected by a registered waste carrier (registered with the Environment Agency) and that it’s disposed of at a site specifically licensed to accept it (licensed by the Environment Agency).

The land in Aldermaston, formally a beauty spot, has been declared so badly contaminated by the Environment Agency that it must be left as it is because the money required to ameliorate the site is not available.

Either the Environment Agency didn’t know that 70’000 cubic metres of waste was being illegally tipped over three years, in which case they’re incompetent idiots and heads should role in the agency or they did know but chose to do nothing for three years in which case they’re incompetent idiots and heads should role in the agency.

As to the cost of the clean up; an authority more competent than the Environment Agency should stop at nothing with no expense spared to find out which companies chose to ignore the law and their ‘Duty of Care’ and have their waste ‘dumped cheap’. They should then make them pay for its legal disposal and land clean up.

As for Mr Hugh O’Donnell, he is guilty of nothing more than having the bollocks to rely on the inefficiency, the stupidity and incompetence of our British waste Police.

Well done Hugh O’Donnell; after his four year sentence has been cut to two for good behaviour and that time has passed, he will no doubt be back doing it again, earning lots of money in the process and considering who he’s up against, who can blame him?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8597855/Jail-for-boss-of-illegal-waste-site-the-size-of-five-football-pitches.html

POVERTY IN THE UK

2011-06-19T14:35:00.000+01:00

An example of a household in poverty in the UK is one housing two adults with two children where (after housing costs have been paid) the daily income is less than £49.71 per day (£348.00 per week or £18,096.00 per annum).

Using this figure, approximately 23% of the English population is living below the poverty line.

OLYMPIC COCK UP

2011-06-18T18:16:00.000+01:00

To say that I’d like the British Olympic Games to fail would be slightly overstating it but nevertheless I won’t be surprised or gutted when it all turns to farce.

We should never have bid for staging the meaningless ‘bribery’ games; it was never going to be anything other than the budget games; badly organised, badly thought out, badly sold and badly competed for by athletes that the country won’t even support financially – maybe the ladies volleyball team should have got the money instead?

Britain needs the money – that’s the money we’ve wasted on it, yet I appreciate that building a load of venues that will ultimately become run down dinosaurs will doubtless be good for the people of east London, none of whom I’m sure have been unlucky enough to get tickets in the first cock up sell off.

Having now successfully pissed off those people who actually did want to go and see some bloke run the 100 metres and who probably will not now be entering the second ballot for tickets, Seb Coe’s possee (isn’t he a knob?) refuse to apologise for alienating the British public.

I could jump on the bandwagon and say that now we’ve committed I’ll back it with all of my British pride but I’d be a hypocrite so I’m glad it’s starting to unravel now as at least we can forego the optimism and acknowledge that it’s shite before the opening ceremony.

DID YOU NOTICE?

2011-06-18T14:58:00.000+01:00

If you’ve missed a bus or train or even a flight this week it’s because on Wednesday 15th June 2011, at approximately 2.57 p.m. there was apparently a shift in world time of almost 87 seconds.

Unless you’ve recently corrected your watch, you will find that it is currently about a minute and a half out of sync with the BBC or a radio controlled clock in your proximity.

So why has this been ignored by the BBC and world’s media?

DROUGHT - WHAT DROUGHT?

2011-06-18T14:38:00.000+01:00

No farmer in Great Britain has ever experienced drought or water shortages and I include Church Flatts farm in Cotton in the Elms within that statement.

Our government, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs and all of our water companies should be hiding under a stone following the stupid, laughable reports last week that we, an island nation has areas short of water.

Fundamentally, the amount of water within planet Earth’s atmosphere never changes, just at which point the water happens to be; i.e. in the aquifer, the rivers, the sea, the clouds, your bladder or a bottle with an Evian label stuck on it.

As is the case with Britain’s moaning farmers, no-one has ever died of thirst on planet earth, rather a lack a water where they happen to be because either they’re living in the wrong place or their lives are not considered as being worthy of the expenditure required to get the water to them i.e. they're black and don't have any oil.

Agriculture accounts for over 72% of all water used worldwide with irrigation accounting for 96% of that. Currently, less than 2.5% of all water on Earth is ‘freshwater’ available for human use.

The global warming myth, if true would hopefully address this as we finally got more use from the redundant water currently being stockpiled and in turn wasted, trapped within glaciers.

Desalination plants are not new technology and can readily produce water usable for crop irrigation prior to being pumped (in the UK) no more than 72 miles to where it’s needed.

Britain’s failure to build power stations to support our needs, desalination plants to convert sea water and pipelines to carry it is why some areas have insufficient water reserves, not because there’s a lack of water. Bearing in mind that one American aircraft carrier can desalinate over 400,000 gallons of water a day – we have no excuse, so shut up moaning or lobby the government – the choice is yours.

ALOK SHARMA IS WRONG

2011-06-08T12:59:00.000+01:00

I’m sure that Alok Sharma is a thoroughly nice bloke yet he’s clearly got a little too much spare time on his hands these days as demonstrated by his sucking up to stuffed shirts in Westminster Hall yesterday.

Alok is the latest MP from Reading to stand up in Westminster Hall and wax lyrical about how we should get city status.

Why? Reading doesn’t look like a city, it doesn’t feel like a city and what’s wrong with living in a town anyway? I like Reading and really couldn’t give a damn whether people call it a city, a town or a hamlet.

In his moving speech to the fatties in Westminster, Alok stated that “Reading began life as a Saxon settlement in the early seventh century and was first mentioned in written history in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle”. As we all know, not a lot’s changed since then other than the Madejski Stadium being built which is where I rest my case – we are not a city.

NATURAL SELECTION

2011-06-07T14:33:00.000+01:00

A self confessed metal thief who now smells of roast pork and has the complexion of a cheap pillow case was left close to death after being hit with a 21,000 volt shock at a power sub-station; the impact blew part of his head off, leaving his brain exposed.

"I definitely didn't grab the cabling with my hands because I wouldn't do something like that, but I accept I was there to steal the cabling because there was no other reason for me to be there”.

Natural selection strikes in mysterious ways.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-13678266

-ING LABOUR

2011-06-07T13:36:00.000+01:00

Following regaining power in Reading the Labour Party is already plotting how it’s going to spend the rich inhabitant’s money (that’s everybody over £23k) by donating electrical goods to council house tenants to sell once they’ve removed them from their roof.

They are also looking at introducing 20mph zones where people want them such as Caversham, the IDR and the town centre where If you get above 10mph at present then you’re doing well.

WOKINGHAM SUPPORTS MONOPOLIES

2011-05-28T15:38:00.000+01:00

A monopoly is an enterprise that is the only seller of a good or service. In the absence of government intervention, a monopoly is free to set any price it chooses and will usually set the price that yields the largest possible profit.

Wokingham Borough Council is so in favour of monopolies it intends to be one as from April 2012 when it changes it waste policy to one that will only collect waste in sacks bought from Wokingham Borough Council, i.e. sacks bought from Morrisons or Sainsburys will not be collected.

WBC is acting against two pieces of legislation.

Under the Environmental Protection Act 1990 section 46, a council can by law dictate what sort of container waste should be presented in – it does not allow WBC to dictate that they may be the only supplier of that container – WBC will be contravening this piece of legislation.

Under the Controlled Waste Regulations – Schedule 2, a council may not charge for domestic, non recyclable waste – WBC will be contravening this piece of legislation by pretending that the charge is for the sack only and not the waste disposal service.

Nowhere in any legislation does it allow a council to limit the amount of domestic waste a household can produce.

If you are opposed to monopolies in Wokingham, please contact the monopoly manager at:-

Peter Baveystock (Assoc MCIWM)
Waste and Recycling Manager
Waste Services Team
Wokingham Borough Council
Tel: 0118 974 6338
Fax: 0118974 6312
peter.baveystock@wokingham.gov.uk

WBC STEALTH TAXING THE PUBLIC

2011-05-27T13:19:00.000+01:00

Despite having no local support for the idea in the borough and in the face of opposition from Caroline Spelman in charge of the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, Peter Baveystock, head of waste and recycling at Wokingham Borough Council has decided to stick two fingers up to the people of Wokingham and press on with WBC’s illegal, ill advised and unwanted waste plans in 2012.

All councils have already been warned by Central Government against the concept of limiting the amount of waste a household can produce a year before operating a sack supply monopoly forcing people to buy sacks from the council or they will refuse to collect sacks supplied by anyone else – MONOPOLY.

Section 46 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990 allows a council to specify the type of container a waste should be placed in but not who supplies it.

In order to get round the law – namely Schedule 2 of the Controlled Waste Regulations under which a council cannot charge for normal domestic non recyclable waste, Wokingham Borough Council is pretending that the charge for the sack is not for waste disposal, instead it’s for the undersized thin sack, the printing and delivery? This shows no respect for the legislation and treats the public like a bunch of idiots.

As explained on this blog before – simply do not accept the council’s skinny, mini sacks and state that you will buy from elsewhere and use as many as required each year.

Please contact Pete yourself and tell him that you do not like monopolies.

Peter Baveystock (Assoc MCIWM)
Waste and Recycling Manager
Waste Services Team
Wokingham Borough Council
Tel: 0118 974 6338
Fax: 0118974 6312
peter.baveystock@wokingham.gov.uk

GREEN LABOUR OH SHIT

2011-05-25T13:16:00.000+01:00

Reading Labour Party blessed by the Reading Green Party – oh shiiiiiit. Lock up your wallets all you rich people earning over £23k because the Grab Our Leen possee is coming after you.

Get out of Reading quick – pull down the shutters, sell up your business, move to Newbury and go now.

JUNCTION 11

2011-05-25T09:30:00.000+01:00

Why is the junction 11, Basingstoke Road roundabout cluttered up and stalled on a Tuesday morning but free flowing and clear on a Friday morning?

NO CORRECTION

2011-05-24T16:45:00.000+01:00

I’ve checked my facts and I confirm that Mrs Liz Cheyney was told to go home and not return to Readibus for any more shopping trips by her line manager, until they (Readibus) had had a chance to have a meeting and discuss the situation.

Mrs Cheyney was then left at home to stew with no phone calls from Readibus. Mrs Cheyney was verbally suspended regardless of what Readibus management might say to the contrary.

LIZ CHEYNEY

2011-05-24T16:10:00.002+01:00

According to Richard Willis, Liz Cheyney is not and never has been suspended by Readibus. I checked twice to ensure that she was suspended and had it confirmed by two separate sources.

If I am wrong and Richard Willis is correct, I will remove all relevant posts and put up an apology.

JAMES FREEMAN - HYBRID

2011-05-24T13:44:00.000+01:00

James Freeman, CEO of Reading Transport may have thought he was playing it safe when spending a potential £9,300,000 with bus builder Alexander Dennis Limited (ADL) on the new Enviro 400 hybrids.

(In actual fact, almost £3,350,000 of that (the hybrid bit) is/will be paid by central government’s Green Bus Fund).

But what if this lot of buses started to develop strange steering issues resulting in passengers not having to actually get off the bus before entering Savacentre?

Judging by his past buying decisions and outcomes this one is almost certainly doomed to end in failure.

Oh dear.

READIBUS - GAG THE AGED

2011-05-23T13:21:00.000+01:00

Reading Transport has totally failed to supply the people of Reading with a reliable, cost effective bus service.

James Freeman and pals have cost the Reading tax payers hundreds of thousands with their badly chosen, badly costed and badly run fleet of bio ethanol bugger ups and even ‘unwittingly’ lied to us about where the fuel was supposedly coming from.

Now, their replacements are starting to crash all over the place costing even more hundreds of thousands in repairs to the buses, bollards, barriers and no doubt soon we will be hearing of the first death by hybrid in our streets.

With their new ‘gag the aged’ policy in place it is clear that a council controlling and running road planning, the local bus service and mobility care is far from a good thing. Maybe Richard Willis, Pat Baxter, James Freeman and everyone else up to this date should consider standing down so we can all start again?

For sure, none of them seem to understand the concept of an integrated transport policy which should address the needs of the train, the bus, the taxi and get this RBC – the people that use the services too!

DON'T UNDERSTAND

2011-05-21T18:48:00.002+01:00

What's all this fuss about Twitter and Ryan Giggs?

READIBUS - GAG THE AGED

2011-05-21T15:27:00.001+01:00

Bosses at Reading Borough Councils Readibus service, set up to supposedly help old aged and people with mobility problems were allegedly delighted on Wednesday upon receipt of a letter from Mrs Liz Cheyney resigning from the organisation following the article in the Reading Evening Post.

Mrs Cheyney, herself a sprightly 68 year old was used by the Evening Post to fill six inches of its local comic to express concerns over the loss of a pedestrian crossing and the movement of the bus stop for buses travelling to Caversham from outside of Sainsbury’s in Friar Street as part of the bus re-routing cock up last month.

Unfortunately and possibly naively, Mrs Cheyney didn’t appreciate that Reading Borough Council, Reading Transport and Readibus are all one and the same left wing organisation which like all insecure, bad despotic regimes across the planet tolerates no criticism by its servants, hence their delight at the removal of a whistle blower.

Shame on you Readibus and Reading Borough Council – you’re a bunch of up your own arse jobsworths caring for nothing other than your own interests rather than the immobile that you pretend to care for.

As regards to the Evening Post – don’t you owe at least some kind of follow up to Mrs Cheyney’s original concerns?

JOBS - LIGHT TURNER OFFER

2011-05-18T13:38:00.000+01:00

Wokingham Borough Council is considering an innovative scheme (their words – not mine) whereby instead of lighting the streets all night, they’ll light some of them, some of the night.

In addition, WBC is considering introducing a new ‘on and off street parking option’ although where the option comes in I’d love to know?

If you think you have the right stuff to turn a street light off early or ban a member of the public from parking outside their house in the road, please contact WBC – reference: 4433 – addressing your application to Mr Neil Badley – telephone 0118 974 6366.

If Neil thinks you have what it takes – you could be paid £43,861 per annum.

You only have until 26.05.2011 to give him a bell so do it now.

READIBUS DICTATORSHIP

2011-05-16T13:34:00.001+01:00

The Western world and democracy in general is based upon the concept of free speech – unless you live in and work for Reading Borough Council.

Reading’s Evening Post recently ran a piece concerning a 68 year old lady (Liz Cheyney) who worked part time for Readibus. Following the changes to bus routes and road layouts in the town centre, some of the lady’s bus travelling clients complained to her that since the change of bus stops, the Caversham buses no longer stop outside Sainsbury’s in Friar Street.

Additionally, a pedestrian crossing has been removed from outside the Oakford Social Club and the side entrance to Reading Station making it a near death experience for people with mobility problems trying to cross the road.

In response to the Evening Post’s interest, according to a disgusted Readibus insider, Readibus (Reading Borough Council) has suspended Mrs Cheyney and told her to shut her mouth – very Kim Jong Il.

DUMPING WASTE AT IQ WINNERSH

2011-05-10T16:00:00.001+01:00

IQ Winnersh, previously known as Winnersh Triangle is now the proud owner of 50 tonnes of plastic crap dumped throughout various warehouses off Eskdale Road and Wharfedale Road.

SEGRO (Slough Estates Group) were warned but still went ahead and relocated companies to make way for the useless plastic crap; the Environment Agency gave the dumper Eco World Plastics their blessing and they all deserve everything they’ve got as a result.

Well done Eco World Plastics or whatever your name is – you are one clever person and I doff my cap to you sir.

So when you’re next on IQ Winnersh why not pop over to Eskdale Road and have a gander at what ten warehouses full of fly-tipped garbage looks like.

Alternatively – contact SEGRO if you’d like to tip your crap on IQ Winnersh: http://www.segro.com/segro/Contact/

FIRE

2011-05-10T13:18:00.000+01:00

Reading’s Firefighters will no longer be answering certain alarms that go off during the day. In particular, the Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service will ignore what are generally called ‘fire alarms’ that go off when a fire is detected between the hours of 9.00 a.m. and 9.00 p.m.

Gene Ashe of the RBFRS confirmed that all too often these alarms are being triggered causing the firefighters to jump into their fire engines which is annoying, costly and a waste of limited resources.

Since 2009 the RBFRS has operated a ‘you fucking prove it mate’ system whereby any alarm sounding has to be followed up by a person ringing 999 to confirm that a fire is raging and answer a four part multiple choice questionnaire about their circumstances and why they think the RBFRS should leave their station for them.

Good - that should save some money.

TRAFFIC FIGHTS

2011-05-09T13:04:00.000+01:00

Its bad enough sitting in traffic when RBC's cheap Fisher Price traffic lights run out of batteries on a Monday morning but what makes it worse is the arseholes that drive up to the car in front and sit on their tail despite it meaning that they’re left in the yellow hatched box area when the lights change.

Then none of the traffic coming from the other way can move which angers them who retaliate by doing the same manoeuvre whilst honking their horns making everyone more pissed off.

When I learned to drive I was told implicitly to never sit in a yellow hatched box and to this day, I don't do it . When this no doubt happens again I shall look out for the new silver Vauxhall Astra that caused all the chaos in South Reading this morning and publish their registration and ideally photograph here to show everyone what a total wanker looks like.

NEW READING PRISON - OPEN

2011-05-07T16:41:00.000+01:00

Reading’s new fee paying prison built with private money in Winnersh Triangle has fully opened.

Based upon a pre 1939 Russian design, the prison has managed to capture the look of the original building in Siberia and offers a totally new approach to dealing with criminals allowing them to operate extortion rackets in the bars charging loan shark rates for a pint of beer.

Prison operator ‘Holiday Inn’ is delighted with the new facility which it developed to complement the shit hole on the Basingstoke Road in Reading which has as much ‘you appeal’ as anthrax.